Becoming Kerry

Rated 5.00 out of 5 based on 1 customer rating
(1 customer review)


Novel (92,000 words)
Ebook Edition (Available in epub, mobi & pdf.)
Publication date: August 8, 20117
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SKU: LK1-1.000267-01 Categories: , , , , , Tags: , , , ,

Kerry Sanderson’s life is falling apart. He’s crushing himself to fit into the boxes others have put him in: dutiful son, good boyfriend, real man. But even the small rebellions he’s fought for himself—moving into a sketchy part of town and becoming an exotic dancer—aren’t giving him the freedom he needs. Ewyn Garrity, a security guard at the gay club where Kerry dances, has found himself in protecting others. Everyone thinks he’s straight, but Ewyn doesn’t fit into simple boxes, either. When he meets Kerry, he makes a not completely innocent offer of company after work.

Ewyn and Kerry hit it off, each finding something he desperately needs in the other. But when Kerry is forced to confront the pain and self-doubt that keep him crushed in his boxes, he’s afraid that no one, not even Ewyn, will be able to love who he is when he finally, truly becomes Kerry. (M/M, M/GQ)

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Dried off and dressed in a pair of black briefs, Kerry sat on Ewyn’s bed with his knees drawn up, holding a big, red-gold honey crisp apple. Seeing the unsettled quality of Ewyn’s expression, Kerry swallowed his bite of food and asked, “Should I put more clothes on? I usually sleep naked, but I figured…”

“No, that’s fine. You should be comfortable. I can be a gentleman. You wear more at work, so I should be used to this by now, shouldn’t I?”

Kerry kept glancing up at Ewyn, just to check, to anticipate. Ewyn was pacing. Kerry liked facing away from the mirror behind the bed. It helped him convince himself he was in a normal bedroom instead of a display case.

“If you’d prefer I sleep on the couch…” Kerry offered.

“No, you’re the guest. I’ll take the couch.”

“You don’t have to. It’s your house. Your bed. I don’t mind,” Kerry said. Even his terror of his own lust was unable to hide his sense of disappointment.

“I don’t want to make you uncomfortable. And seeing you like that, in my bed, makes me….”

“Horny?” Kerry guessed.

Ewyn laughed, but it turned into a groan. He tried to discreetly adjust himself and it made Kerry grin behind his apple.

“It’s okay. Come on. I don’t bite.”

“Don’t bite? I don’t even think you have teeth.”

Kerry screwed up his face, scrunching his nose, then broke out laughing.

Ewyn hesitated a moment, then pulled his shirt off. Next he opened and pushed down his pants, leaving on his boxer briefs which hinted at every inch of his pierced cock and the heavy swell of his balls. Working only on instinct, though fighting the urge to tense up and over-think what he was doing, Kerry let his legs fall open as Ewyn knelt on the bed, then crawled up it. The closer he got, the more Kerry spread. His heartbeat sped up, his breath quickening.

With a moan, Ewyn moved on top of Kerry, pressing him back to lay on the bed, the apple still loosely held in his hand. Nudging Kerry’s chin with his nose, then nipping at it, Ewyn thrust lightly against Kerry’s groin, provoking a small gasp and a counter-thrust from Kerry. He felt as helpless as a lamb pinned down by a ravenous lion, but in ways that only excited him. Shouldn’t he be more scared? Shouldn’t he want to fight back or say no?

Caressing up the outside of Kerry’s thigh, up the side of his torso, over his chest, Ewyn exuded ravenous hunger that nothing as simple as an apple would sate.

“I keep thinking of you as a kitten,” Ewyn admitted, breathing harder, speaking in a gruff whisper. “All soft, playful and innocent, with your wide, pretty eyes and that purr of a voice. Drives me fucking mad.”

“Are you saying you want me to be your sex kitten?” Kerry smirked.

“God fucking dammit,” Ewyn moaned, his brogue thickening along with his cock which pressed against the inside of Kerry’s hip.

“I did intend for us to talk, you know.”

“That scares me more than this does,” Kerry admitted.

1 review for Becoming Kerry

  1. Rated 5 out of 5


    Kerry Sanderson, the main character in Lynn Kelling’s latest novel Becoming Kerry, identifies as genderqueer and I will observe Kerry’s preference for the feminine pronouns in my review.

    As Kerry states, “‘My whole life I’ve felt like a mistake and I’m not a mistake.’”

    Growing up in a house where deviating from accepted standards was completely unacceptable, Kerry has struggled to come to terms with feelings about who she can love and what clothing is okay to wear. Spending her life miserable trying to conform to what society and her family expect, and longing to be at peace, Kerry gradually begins to recognize that she is genderqueer.

    Accepting and embracing her desire to be true to herself is a long and difficult journey.

    Masquerading as a straight man at her former job Kerry says she felt like she was, “‘playacting instead of being’” herself. Looking to make a significant change, moving jobs to a gay bar doesn’t help as much as she had hoped…until she meets Ewyn. Ewyn helps Kerry realize she needs to be true to herself and see the positive spin her misfortunes can provide in her life.

    When she begins to embrace who she is on the inside, and gets the outside to match, Kerry finally starts to find some peace.

    Lynn Kelling always presents such beautifully complicated, muti-layered characters. The unique relationships and the intense emotions they explore always bring interesting issues to the surface. What makes Kelling a powerful author for me is how she establishes the plausibility of these relationships.

    These characters just need each other so completely, they could not be whole without the other. Kerry, with her honest submission, satisfies Ewyn’s need to dominate. Ewyn, who admits he’s overbearing and too domineering, needs to be the protector in his relationships. This self admitted vulnerability makes Ewyn’s character so real and meaningful for me.

    Kerry’s character, at the most basic level, simply needs to trust somebody. To put her physical and mental wellbeing into the hands of someone else.

    At a higher level Kerry needs to find herself, to find the courage to be honest to her true nature.

    It always just hits me the way Kelling writes her men. She gets so far into their heads, into their insecurities and doubts (and the complex intricacies of human nature). She plays with their pasts, brings issues forward, and makes them relevant to the story. She creates a powerful attraction between the MCs which is absolutely alluring, and so undeniably hot.

    I really appreciate the message Kelling sends in Becoming Kerry about duality, the image we present to society and what we are willing to do to make ourselves happy. In the journey of finding ourselves, and deciding to be honest to our true nature, what are we willing to give up?

    Kelling has created a thought provoking, powerful story that will stay with me for some time.

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